


Dear Agony

by rarepairqueen



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Fluffy Ending, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 21:06:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4892251
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rarepairqueen/pseuds/rarepairqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Most of the time it was Akashi who was comforting Furihata but sometimes the tables turned.<br/>Sometimes it was the captain who needed comforting.<br/>Sometimes it was Furihata who had to pick up the pieces.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear Agony

**Author's Note:**

> I had a really bad few nights whilst writing my other KNB fic, it only became a problem when I got rejected for a job I tried really hard to get.  
> This wasn't really planned, it just came to me whilst listening to music and all my pent up feelings kinda bled into it.  
> Sorry if it's a little ooc, I wanted to portray Akashi in my own way but I may have pushed the limits a little.  
> This is really just a vent piece.
> 
> (side note: I kept changing how I referred to Akashi and I don't know which works better so I kept it all as I originally wrote it - feedback would be appreciated)

Kouki's eyes burned, his side stung and his legs cried out in pain as he ran down the street. It was late, he was the only one out it seemed as he passed under street-lights in the esteemed neighbourhood. A series of worrying texts had sent him into a frenzy, before he knew it he had snuck out of his home and ran halfway across the city of Tokyo to where he knew his lover was. The Akashi family, being as they are, had a residence in the country's capital and this was where Seijuurou had sent the texts from.

He took out his phone and tried to call the captain, the fourth time he had done so after the last text he sent went unanswered. Kouki knew that Seijuurou wasn't alone in the manor but he knew that there was no way the proud teen would confide in any of the staff.

"Sei." He pleaded, hearing the pick up tone. "Sei...please..."

"Kouki. Are--are you running?" The other's voice sounded void of all emotion, something that was normal but it wasn't a good sign in the slightest.

"Just wait for me Sei, I'll be there in five minutes."

He narrowly avoided a speeding car as he reached the correct estate, large iron gates blocked the main entrance but he already knew of a way to get inside undetected. After squeezing through a hole in the hedgerow and dodging the security lights Kouki found himself at the outer door of the young heir's room. He knocked on the glass pane and waited, after a few seconds the door was opened, there was no warm embrace, no pleasantries exchanged, just a simple command.

"In."

Kouki didn't need to be told twice, he slipped inside and shut the door behind him, making sure to pull the ornate drapes across to keep the light in. What little light there was anyway. Seijuurou sighed, moving back to his bed, not really giving his lover a second glance as he sat down on the edge of the mattress.

There was a somewhat uncomfortable silence, the room was normally tidy to an extreme but tonight it was very different. The usual neat piles of textbooks were knocked over the floor, the closet was a shambles, the desk was cluttered with paper and more books, the chair that normally sat at the desk was jammed against the interior door to prevent anyone getting in, the familiar white high school jersey thrown over it. The one table lamp that normally stood on the desk was on the floor, still plugged in and giving off a yellow glow.

"Sei." Kouki uttered, not sure what to do, he hadn't seen the red-head this bad before.

It was rumoured that the Rakuzan captain struggled with his split personality and some people had accused him of being bi-polar. It hurt Kouki to know that Sei never denied them, he would always brush it off and comment about how he was absolute and that he didn't care for other's opinions. The Seirin player knew better though, the comments and rumours left deep cuts and some of them were now beginning to show.

"Kouki." Seijuurou replied, not looking away from the mirror across the room from him, it had cracked after one of his 'bad nights' and a small shard was missing, well missing from the frame at least. He had become engrossed in staring at his distorted reflection and then everything had come crashing down, he hadn't uttered a word as he tore his room apart, he simply worked out his anger and then sat there until Kouki arrived.

It didn't take a genius to work out how bad things were. Kouki knelt in front of his lover, taking his hands and kissing them. Seijuurou clenched one of his fists, not taking his eyes off the mirror.

"Give it to me Sei." Kouki demanded gently. "I don't want you to do it again."

Seijuurou's façade was slipping. He couldn't keep it up around Kouki, he never could any-more. He released the shard into the brunette's hand with a bitten back sob. The shard was pocketed before Kouki pulled the younger boy into his arms, he knew that the other had his pride and wouldn't want the staff to hear him so broken so he held him tightly against his chest so the cries and sobs would be muffled.

They sat on the floor, surrounded by the destruction caused in the ordeal as the so-say cold-hearted emperor sobbed into the chest of a second-choice point guard. When Kouki first found out about Sei's emotional weakness he hadn't quite figured out how he'd deal with it, not being one to put himself out there he found himself slightly terrified.

The first time he dealt with his broken lover wasn't pretty, he had spent the night with Sei and woke up to find the other poised to make a cut into the pale skin of his shoulder. Out of reflex he batted the hand away, gaining an accusing glance but behind the glare of the red eyes were pools of fear. The rest of the night was spent with Sei explaining how and why he was so - as he put it - weak minded. It wasn't easy for Sei to open up about it and he had found it rather frustrating trying to find the words to make Kouki understand. Kouki still didn't fully understand but he knew enough to comfort Seijuurou in that moment.

This wasn't the first time though, Kouki had lost count by now of how many nights he had been texted, called, even collected by the Akashi family chauffeur under the guise of being a student that Sei was tutoring, all just to calm the captain down and stop him harming himself further.

Kouki's fingers traced the one scar that did mark his lover's skin, it was faint and nearly always covered by a shirt, it had been made after the Winter Cup when his father told him that he was a failure for getting beaten by a team like Seirin. It make Kouki feel slightly guilty for winning but Sei had told him that it wasn't his fault.

"Kouki..." Seijuurou whimpered, pushing himself away.

"It's okay Sei." He replied, reaching out and stroking the tear-stained cheek. "You'll get better."

"When though? When Kouki? When will I stop feeling like this?"

These were questions that the red-head would ask every-time, Kouki never had any answers but that never deterred him.

"One day." He murmured, taking the other's hand and bringing it to his lips. "And I'm going to be with you every day."

Seijuurou wanted to believe him, he really did but this had been happening longer than he could remember. No-one really knew what it was like to battle with yourself; to fear losing everything, to forget what it felt like to play for fun and not for victory, to let yourself fall in love without second-guessing yourself.

He pushed Kouki away, standing up on unsteady legs like a new born foal. The reflection in the cracked mirror warped as he approached it, his hands closed around the frame and he lifted it off the wall fixture. Kouki watched him nervously, unsure what Seijuurou was doing. The captain stared at the glass, face void of all emotion as his fingers clenched painfully against the polished wood.

"Sei..." Kouki murmured. "Sei talk to me."

The red-head launched the mirror at the opposite wall with a small cry of fury. The glass shattered and shards spilt all over the cluttered floor, the wall dented due to the sheer force of the throw, the wooden frame was splintered and Seijuurou clenched his teeth as he stood over the carnage.

"I hate it." He choked out, nudging one of the larger shards with his foot. "This feeling."

A frantic knocking at the interior door paused his train of thought.

"Young master? Are you okay? What's going on?" A man's voice came through, the door handle moving as he tried to get in.

"I'm fine." The heir responded in an eerily calm voice. "Just a little clumsy, I thank you for your concern."

There was silence from the other side before the man left, Seijuurou glared at the door before his façade broke again. Kouki just stared first at the shards and then his lover. Sei was never violent in front of him, it was always behind the scenes, out of sight of anyone. If he was honest, he was a little scared right now.

It took all the courage that Kouki had to get up and approach his lover.

"Sei..."

He placed a hand on Sei's shoulder, he expected the other to flinch away or glare at him but the opposite happened. Seijuurou turned into Kouki's hold and buried his face in the brunette's neck. Not knowing what to say, Kouki guided him back and onto the bed, the captain had no objections as he was drawn into Kouki's arms on top of the light blue bedsheets.

"I'm sorry." The brunette murmured, pressing a kiss to Sei's forehead. "I'm sorry I can't make the pain go away."

Seijuurou sniffed, even now trying not to cry as he lay between Kouki's legs, ear pressed against his lover's chest and able to hear the racing heartbeat. Kouki's arms held him tightly, this was one of the things Sei appreciated the most about his relationship; the fact that there was someone in his life who was prepared to run halfway across the city just to make sure he was okay, someone who wasn't going to think any less of him, someone who wasn't afraid of him.

Someone like Kouki. Sure he was still a little intimidated sometimes but Seijuurou knew that it just came with his reputation and status in society. Even with the rumours and stories of his uncaring attitude, Sei always made sure that Kouki knew he was loved.

"I would fix it if I could..." Kouki uttered, running a hand through Sei's hair. "You know I would."

Seijuurou nodded, shifting in his lover's hold so he was face-to-face with Kouki.

"I know." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Kouki's in a slow sweet kiss. The brunette gently cupped his lover's face, wiping away the few tears that had escaped. The captain rested against Kouki's chest again, welcoming the small feeling of comfort that came with a simple gesture.

Kouki leaned against the headboard of the bed, an arm still wrapped around Sei as he gently ran a hand through the crimson hair of the boy he loved so much. He didn't care that people questioned his sanity over dating such a complex person, the important thing for him was knowing that Sei loved him for who he was. There were times when he doubted Sei's intentions but through the time they had spent together it became clear that there was more to this than a class kink.

His team-mates thought he was crazy to be dating Sei, they almost refused to accept it until Kuroko saw the two of them together and told Kouki that the old Akashi was coming back more and more as the two continued dating. That one comment still made his heart flutter several months later, the 'old' Akashi that had been missed by many was coming back. Kouki would be foolish to say he didn't notice the difference between the one he faced in the Winter Cup and the one who was led in his arms now, he knew there had been a change in the boy but he still loved him regardless.

"I'll help you clean up in the morning." He whispered to the red-head. "And I'll make sure I'm gone before the staff come in."

Seijuurou nodded, his fury and hatred for himself slowly ebbing away as Kouki's comforting presence began to finally have an affect on him.

"You should call home. Your parents will be worried." His calm tone returning as he let his eyes slip shut.

"Nah, I told my brother to tell them. He knows that I wouldn't leave without a good reason."

"Must be nice...to have a family like that."

Kouki kissed the top of Sei's head, feeling bad for mentioning it. "I know. But one day they can be your family too."

Seijuurou's eyes snapped open as the words sunk into his mind.

"...was that a proposal?"

Kouki tensed slightly, mentally screaming for walking into this situation without thought. "I-I mean...I didn't mean...but if you want--"

Seijuurou sat up and looked Kouki in the eyes, both of his were red so there was no doubt about which one was in control. Kouki didn't make an attempt to look away, his bottom lip trembling slightly as he fought to find the right words. A small smile graced Seijuurou's face as he leaned a little closer.

"There is no question about it, I want to marry you one day Kouki." He whispered. "But let me propose to you."

"W-Why?" Kouki found himself asking, normally he didn't ask questions because Sei explained everything.

The red-head smiled, a genuine soft smile that few people saw anymore, it made Kouki's heart flutter a little.

"Because I want to declare how much I love you when I do it."

Kouki couldn't help but smile back, more at how cheesy the statement was than the thought behind it but that was beside the point. He nodded and pulled Sei into a more heated kiss, thankful that his lover was feeling slightly better.

They didn't move from the bed, Seijuurou settled back in Kouki's arms without a complaint, enjoying having someone hold him for the first time in a while. The brunette was more than happy to obligue, pressing kisses to his cheek as they began to fall asleep together.

In the morning they would have to clean up the broken mirror and reorganise the room but for now they could just lie there and try to forget how cruel the world was. The agony that Seijuurou carried inside him wouldn't disappear overnight but Kouki was going to do everything in his power to stay by his side, even if it meant running halfway across Tokyo in the middle of the night.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the following songs:  
> \- Dear Agony by Breaking Benjamin  
> \- The Last Night by Skillet  
> \- Lullaby by Nickelback.


End file.
